And when we woke up, we had these bodies. You're going to do his laundry? I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.
We're rescuing ya. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!
Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments." Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV. You lived before you met me?! Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! She also liked to shut up! Why would a robot need to drink?
Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of 'will'? Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Say what? For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.
Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'! When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought "Why should I?" Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film! I never loved you. I had more, but you go ahead.
Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful! Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! You're going to do his laundry? I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that.
Kids have names? Soothe us with sweet lies. No, she'll probably make me do it. And from now on you're all named Bender Jr. I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.
You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. One hundred dollars. I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas.
Alright, let's mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. You lived before you met me?! Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! Now what? Shinier than yours, meatbag.
One hundred dollars. Take me to your leader! Oh dear! She's stuck in an infinite loop, and he's an idiot! Well, that's love for you. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
She also liked to shut up! I'll get my kit! Bender, you risked your life to save me! No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that's it.
Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon. Anyone who laughs is a communist! For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your 'first' wife was the one who liked lilacs! In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.
No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that's it. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. Why yes! Thanks for noticing.
That's not soon enough! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! File not found. Large bet on myself in round one.
One hundred dollars. I found what I need. And it's not friends, it's things. I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! I wish! It's a nickel. And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!
So, how 'bout them Knicks? Bender, quit destroying the universe! I suppose I could part with 'one' and still be feared…
But existing is basically all I do! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Hello Morbo, how's the family?
Who are those horrible orange men? We're also Santa Claus! Can we have Bender Burgers again? And then the battle's not so bad? Bender, I didn't know you liked cooking. That's so cute. Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.
Hey, whatcha watching? I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians. When the lights go out, it's nobody's business what goes on between two consenting adults. Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here. Well, then good news! It's a suppository. Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo!
I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Oh sure! Blame the wizards!
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